Hi, My name is Jennifer. I am a 37 year old with one divorce on her resume, a 10 year old daughter, and another husband who wants to divorce me. I am suffering from an extreme case of depression. I am very overweight, not a good housewife and a compulsive shopper. All this leading up to a Bankruptcy and now a divorce. I feel like a complete failure, and that i have nothing to live for. Yes I have my wonderful daughter, but Iwonder if she would be better without me? I have thought of suicide, but I can't even prick my finger to test for blood sugar levels. i am not diabetic, my mom is and sometimes i like to check it to see what it is. So i could never kill myself, but the thought has crept through my mind to many times in the last few weeks. I love my husband with all my heart, but he tells me that he cares for me only. And to make matters worse, he doesn't understand depression, and will not go to a counselor. I realize I need to focus on myself and get myself into a better frame of mind, but it is so hard. I am constantly crying, and feeling sorry for myself. I break myself down all the time saying what a loser i am and this is all my fault. When i married for the second time, I married forever, and I thought he did too. boy was I wrong. I don't understand how someone can fall out of love , I mean it is not an emotion that can be turned on and off like a lightswitch.