i feel like....i want to sleep for the next 5 years and wake up and see how everything turned out. i want to watch my life as if it were a tv show and not really live it. i am in such a horrible place right now....my heart hurts with every breath. i hate and i love love. the man i love is Chinese, we both go to the same university...we are in love...his father works for the chinese goverment...so we cant be together...he just broke up with me recently bc of what his father wants....i am in such emotional paint. i want things to go back to the way they were before he knew his father didnt want us together, when were happy, when he said things like "my life is with you", and "i want to grow old with you". i want to talk to his father and change his mind about everything. i am taking chinese language and culture classes...so maybe his father will accept me...but Shuyan(the man i love) says he wont anyway. help
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