I turned 55 last week and I left my X a year ago. We were married almost 30 years and I feel like it was yesterday. Four years before I left I knew he was interested in someone he knew from a sport he was playing. We used to get together as couples and then all of a sudden I was excluded. My X was OCD about $$$ and although he never did anything to help our finances I did. I had a business for years then I went to college. I got promotion over promotion so he couldn't leave me. He drove me out. For the four years before I left I ended up with a heart problem and had three TIA's (mini strokes) because of what he was doing to me. I was so scared of him. After I left I joined a group for abused women but I was so much older than the other women I didn't feel like I belonged. I am a profession person and I specialize in labour relations but my life was a mess. I can't emphasize how scared I was of this man. Once I left he went after me for alimony and my pension. We had raised our grandson since he was born and he wrote in the separation that he would not give me support. I couldn't get out of this fast enough so I signed the papers and got one third of the value of our home and belongings. So, why am I still hurting so much? He has been having an affair with a woman two years older than our daughter and I can't believe he did this to me. I had always heard of a mid life crisis but I never thought it would happen to us. I would do anything to get a good night sleep. I cry in my sleep all the time.A few weeks ago a friend of mine set me up with her friend and we went out to meet and I threw up. I felt like I was being unfaithful. Do you have any words of wisdom that might help me?
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