
Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Want to be happy...but just cant shake feeling blu

deleted_user
VERY blue. Prob depression but I dont want to go on meds. I tried them right after HE shook up my life and dumped it out upside down...they only left me with NO emotion...not good. I also watched what depression meds did to him. While our marriage was never fabulous, those meds began the downfall of him...us...our family. Dont care what Doctors say...I witnessed first hand how it can change someone. Really heartbreaking...
I just want to be able to enjoy life. Part of me knows it is a choice...part of me cant escape the desire to do nothing but mope. I am tired and my emotions are drained. If it were not for my kids...I think I would just sit and cry all day.
I need to shake this...I need to be happy for more than one day or a couple hours at a time. Bubble baths are nice but I need something that is not temporary relief.
Im sure one thing that would help is to get out in the world, but I am feeling fearful too. I dont know how to live a life without him...it feels so strange still after so long of him being gone.
Any thoughts?
I just want to be able to enjoy life. Part of me knows it is a choice...part of me cant escape the desire to do nothing but mope. I am tired and my emotions are drained. If it were not for my kids...I think I would just sit and cry all day.
I need to shake this...I need to be happy for more than one day or a couple hours at a time. Bubble baths are nice but I need something that is not temporary relief.
Im sure one thing that would help is to get out in the world, but I am feeling fearful too. I dont know how to live a life without him...it feels so strange still after so long of him being gone.
Any thoughts?
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The meds can be temporary just to get you up and moving and doing healthy things for yourself.
Right now, everything that improves your mood will be temporary. You are hurting. There was a great post here about doing basic things during this phase. Eating healthy meals, even when you aren't hungry. Exercising when you don't want to. Find something everyday that brings you joy. Smile and laugh every day. With time these things will become natural again.
Hugs!
I just recently weaned off of them .I did experience a weight gain...not all of them do that but paxil put 15 pounds on my already overweight body.
I still think it helped me overcome the reality of my dire situation. It still sucks but I am ok without the meds now.
It is scary times ..we all know..whatever can help you gain a little control is worth a try.
All i wish for is peace and joy. I know you do too and you deserve it . I pray we all get that soon!!
The other suggestions are all good ones--exercise and certain foods can be great mood elevators. And if you can't afford counseling, talk to a member of the clergy. They can often provide great counseling free of charge! I've talked my priest's ear off about this divorce and he has patiently listened, offered advice and prayer, helped me to accept and is helping me with forgiving ex and ow.
I hope you find some comfort soon. Hugs!
I too am on an anti-depressant and I have a phobia to pills. But I knew without some help I would not make it. I also believe these meds saved my life. I'm on Celexa and it doesn't make me dopey nor has it changed me in any way. It did'nt even taken the pain away (only time will do that) but what it has done is help me cope with it all. It takes the edge off the mental depression.
I ask you this, if you were sick in any other form and the doctor prescribed meds you would take them no questions.....think of anti-depressants as the Antibiotic to your depression. There is no shame in needing help to get through this. You'd be a super-human if you didn't.
We are all with you. You will never walk alone. This site is the second best thing I did for myself once this mess started. Stay with us, daily, hourly if you have to. We will help you through this until you are strong enough to walk on your own.
Hugs and love.
Heartbroken;I took Prozac for awhile and it didn't change me. Just took the edge off which is what I needed. I still felt sad and cried, but not as much. I am not a pill taker either, but it was something I knew I had to do to be able to cope. I remember telling my sister that "he took my life away from me" and she told me, "no, he didn't. He gave you your life back." I didn't think so at the time, but I am a little over two years into this now and I believe she was right! My life is so much easier without him (and trust me, I never wanted my marriage to end...I was in it for life). Financially, it is harder, but I am making it okay. Actually, I have been thinking lately that one of the "gifts" he gave me by leaving me is the gift of perspective...so many things don't bother me anymore and I take absolutely nothing for granted. I also know that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. You can do this, we are all here for you! I had the following posted on my refirgerator for the longest time, I have since put it in my "Thankful Journal" ~ I'm strong enough to rise above most any troubled time...Today may be a mountain, but I was born to climb." I am sending lots of love, hugs and sunshine your way! Love, Mary