I'm trying real hard to forget about him but he still comes in my mind - the thoughts, the dreams. I keep on telling myself he is a jerk and he doesn't want me anymore but it doesn't help totally. I try not to get upset especially in front of the kids. It hurts so much being rejected and I want to be strong for them. My daughter is 26 and my son is 22. They have their own lives and problems and I don't want to be a burden on them. This fact also pisses me off because he left for another and when he does come here he leaves and I'm here dealing with whatever alone. When something does come up and I tell him he says 'that's life'. Nice, ha - I feel like telling him where to go!!!! My daughter is moving out in August so I'm glad she will be in (I hope) a better situation living with her boyfriend than living with her mommy. She already told me that when she gets married she doesn't want her father walking her down the aisle. Knowing this, doesn't this bother him? I don't get it!
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Just found out Friday that I will start tomorrow - June 4 - services for 24/7 aides. One willl come it at 8 am and leave at 8 pm then one comes in from 8 pm to 8 am. So I will never be alone. My boyfriend said he will still come over often and we can always go into the bedroom and be alone to watch TV. He thinks this will work and be fine. Me - don't like it at all so cry.