Well 2 weeks ago it was "I love you, and I want to make this work" Now, he is incrediably cold and mean. Has moved his money into another bank acct. and locked me out of it. I have no money, my financial future is gone. I sit here writing this, and I feel like it is a bad dream. Although I dont have proof of the OW, I know she exists. He denied at first, but Now he dont deny. I feel like this is a bad dream, of which I cannot awake from. I had terrible nightmares last night, and I sit here and I cant sleep. I decided to go see my family 2000 miles away, to get some help from the depression I was suffering. They helped, but now its being thrown into my face, cause Now I apparently spent all the money. I know he has money hidden and I dont, that is my denial. I dont understand how one person can just walk away from the love of 20 years. My kids are trying to be strong, but I look at them and wonder If I am going to be able to provide for them now. I have a back injury so I only work part time. He makes more in a week than I do a month. Now on August 25th will be our anniversay. We were supposed to get remarry'd in Vegas. He bought me a diamond ring, and proposed all over again. Now He is mean and cruel. I am having a hard time dealing with this. I feel like just crawling up and dying. I said I get a little stronger every day and a little less love... he reponds Good. How those words hurt. I will never feel his touch again. I see people walking around holding hands, and I think that was me 4 weeks ago. I lost the love of my life, my soul mate, and he acts like its all no big deal. I am broke raising 3 teenage kids on my own. The house is in his name, the car in his name. He has been controlling and I have been passive. And now I am paying the price. I want sooo much to heal and say fk you, and move on, but I say it but dont mean it. After everything, I still love him dearly. What is wrong with me?
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