Yes, he is breaking a commandment. Yes, he will probably go to hell. At least you won't have to see him there.

Your STBX is sick. To be told he wants a divorce is really sick. You are going to be sooooooo lucky to be rid of him.\

I won't even consider dating until I am offically divorced. To me that is adultry.

I meant to say to be told he wants a divorce through email is sick.

I'm struggling with the same thing. I finally told my daughter MYSELF that we are getting divorced because I couldn't get him to do it with me. I told her because he admitted to me that his girlfriend will be moving in with him, sooner rather than later. He offered to let me talk with her before allowing my daughter to spend the night with her in the house... AS IF. No, it is not appropriate - but I'm not sure it's anything we have control over. I told him that I obviously did not hold his girlfriend in high esteem (my husband is the 4th married man she's been involved with) and had serious reservations about her having anything to do with raising my daughter, but that he was ultimately her father and I had no choice but to trust his judgment. So, I will just focus my time on my daughter and hopefully not working to undo the utter lack of values they both clearly live by. (My daughter is 9.) For your kids, I guess, I would tell them to talk to their Dad about his breaking the 6th commandment and their concern for him. Why should we have to have all the difficult conversations? I think passing judgment on him to your kids by agreeing - yes indeed your Dad is going exactly where he deserves to go - will only get you in trouble in the long run, even though it is vile.

i am so sorry. all the books say that saying anything about dating is so very hurtful. there is no way your kids can understand it all and can so easily be manipulated. how can a father do this? thankfully mine says there is no one.. lets see how fast a someone appears after the divorce is final/

My therapist said she has never known anyone to leave a long term marriage without there being someone else. I didn't know for 1 1/2 months. Then my youngest son got into my STBX's email. Then I got into his cell phone records. It was going on months before he left our family.
Try and get that information.

No it is not appropriate he is still a married man. He is not setting a very good example for the kids. He should slowly introduce the kids to the girlfriend after you are offially divorced. In the mean time he should not introduce her to them or talk about her to them. I know this may sound unrealitic. But if he cares about the kids emotional needs he will take it slow.

I agree that he should not be with OW until divorce is final. BUT, mine has moved her in and she sleeps with him when the kids are there for visitation. We have not filed for divorce yet and she is also married and has not filed for divorce. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he will not listen to anything I say. It hurts like hell that he does this to me, but I fear that the kids will learn that this is acceptable behavior and will let this happen in their marriages when they grow up.

It probably is a bit much for him to brag about his "new friend" but I would have a problem with the children thinking about him in context of any Commandment. Man does not have the authority to pass eternal judgment on one another. I would if they were my children explain that to them and that they should not judge anyone even someone close to them that they might feel they have a right.

Perhaps I should not have said this deedee but kids will grow into the sum of the lessons they learn in life. We are all thier teachers even when we are having a bad day.

I believe your description of his actions conveys what kind of person he is to your children. I'm having concerns with the impact on my 13 yr. son who knew that his mother had a BF a month after she walked out. As a concerned responsible parent we need to let our children know through our actions that we will travel the high road and not be in the gutter.

No, what he is doing is not appropriate. My kids were raised catholic and have very strong moral values too. They are older, ages 18-23. Their dad dated and slept with women before we were divorced and 2 weeks after our divorce was final, married a different one.

My kids are devastated. The girls don't speak with him, our son has minimal contact. They feel betrayed and confused that the man that taught them right from wrong, prayed with them and took them to church every Sunday, taught CCD and youth group and was a communion minister--could behave in such a way. They have lost all respect.

I know your kids are young but they are old enough to see that what their dad is doing isn't right. It will speak for itself. Just reinforce you values with them without condeming him. They will watch you and follow your example. Your godly life will not go unnoticed by them.

Pray and trust God---he won't fail you.