Anger is a part of the process! I think you have to feel it to work through this and be healthy on the other side! Don't say you wasted your life! You have some wonderful memories, when it is not too painful to think about! You have beautiful children and grandchildren! That is not wasting your life! I think you need to allow yourself to heal. I am reading "Rebuilding- When Your Relationship Ends" and there are others out there. I believe you need to take this time to learn to love yourself and heal. By working through this, you will move yourself towards happiness! You are young and have a long life ahead of you! Only you can find the path to happiness through healing! We are here to help you! Letting go is a gradual process!

Many hugs to you!

I so know how you feel and I never thought I'd ever feel differently. But if you go through the process, and feel the feelings that you are expressing, you will get there. I will tell you I"m 22 months out and I'm finally getting through the process and doing well. Just keep writing and feeling and crying and sharing and you'll get there too. Big hugs my friend.

I also can relate to your feelings. You put it beautifully. One of the biggest regrets I have is working full-time to help put my husband through college when we first married, and ending my own education. Now he's the one with the great career and earning power. Kind of feels like we built our own trap, doesn't it?

I do believe it will get better and thank the other ladies for that encouragement. It seems like such a long road ahead when you're at the beginning. I've learned from past challenges that it helps to focus on baby steps first and they add up quickly. Just when I thought I'd fall apart, I found strength and determination I didn't know I had. That was then and this is now. It's tough but we're going to make it!

You did not waste 24 years of your life, just do not waste anymore time being angry about it.. it is non productive.

As I am my usual broken record, I see life as a highway, you have to look forward, drive defensively, check the rear mirror once in awhile, and keep heading down the highway..

I also say divorce is like a marathon, you have to train for it, eat well, take care of yourself and get ready for the run of your life. Learn to breath right. Learn the route.

MistieB Because you put your ex through college, that will factor big time in figuring out what you will get in maintenance, and it will be in your favor..

If anger catapults you to the next step in healing than use it. Sometimes that thought comes into my head that I wasted the last 20 some years of my life but that is a real negative non-productive way of looking at it. We may have some regrets here and there but that time was not wasted. We grew. We learned. We loved. We lived. And we will continue to do so. The end of our marriages are sad, frustrating, and sometimes bizarre but it is NOT the end of our lives.

I know how easily it is to slip into that feeling of I wasted my life on that man for THIS? And believe me I am so angry I want to say it too. But deep down, I know it's not true. For the most part we had a wonderful life, we have 2 fantastic children, have lived very well, and had many, many great years. I can't understand how he is doing this now - but I have to let that go - because it is his problem. If I let it become too much of my problem, and focus it more on that than my future - I'll end up as messed up as he is!!!

I really never even had a life, except as a child, without my husband. So the last 37 were with him, now I get to have a completely different new life. It will be - and is terribly hard to get there, but once I do, I expect my new life to be much better, healthier, and happier than the one I've been living recently. I suspect yours will be too - just like everyone else's on here. We can and will do this!

I've been tempted to say I've wasted my life, but we did have many good years. I think the last five years have been particularly bad, but I still wouldn't call them wasted.

I think it's easy to think that, given that most of us are now middle aged and think that our lives are half over. I choose to think that my life is just beginning. It's all about perspective. Please use your anger productively to move you through the grieving process.

Peace and hugs.!!!!!!