I am so embarrassed that I acted this way, but I just lost it. He called last night to see if he could see the kids. He was supposed to try to make it to our son's therapy appt., but he couldn't because he ended up working late, which is what always happens. He calls around 8:00 and says he would like to stop by and see the kids, would I mind. Like a fool, I told him it was fine. He arrived around 8:40, which our daughter is normally in bed but I let her stay up. My first mistake. When he was done playing with her, he went down to play Xbox with our son. She was very upset and wanted daddy. Instead of him taking the time and laying with her, he left it for me to deal with. I absolutely lost it. I just at that point couldn't handle anything anymore. I started screaming, cursing (not good in front of kids) and telling him what I thought of him. I looked like a fool. Of course, he told my son when they were sitting there that I am nuts. I then asked him to talk because I felt so bad. He said I can't do that anymore to the kids and it is not fair to them. I agree, but I never get a break. He basically told me that he will be there for the kids, but not for me in the way that I want him to. He said he avoids talking to me because he doesn't like that I am being bitter and angry. What does he expect? He left, he left me to pick up all the pieces. Am I suppossed to always be strong? I guess so in his mind. He keeps telling me the reason he left was so he didn't hurt me anymore because he would have been lying and cheating behind my back. Isn't it just great that now he chose to be "honest". WTF. I am so upset and destroyed. How am I supposed to feel.
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