I received notice of the final court date today. In Michigan, my home state a "no fault divorce" can take only 60 days... in a perfect world. Of course, my world has not been perfect. No fault means uncontested basically. My stbx has done nothing to this point, almost 7 months, no lawyer, no contact, so I don't believe he will attend this hearing even tho he has been "invited". So.. I have "needed" this hearing since I filed for divorce, why do I feel so ambivalent now that it has actually been scheduled? The marriage has been over for quite some time, the 1st affair was in "07, I learned of it in "08, moved out for six months, returned to him after intense counseling. I had many conflicting emotions even then, trust was nonexistent. In my head I knew he would go back to the old behaviors, in my heart I didn't want to believe it. Year and a half later he was back to picking up women in bars again and when I caught on to the latest one I kicked him out. I believe in many ways he was testing me - did I worship him enough, was I still willing to give up myself to take care of him, etc. This is all about him. I feel like he was a parasite attached to me only as long as I supported him. Again, why the ambivalence? Is this normal? Anyone else with the same feelings? Also I have had some friends and family volunteer to go with me to the hearing, it's allowed here. What do you think?