Ok...why does my heart pound, when I get an unknown caller on my phone or cell phone. He told me a couple of weeks ago that he has not retained attorney yet..for some reason I dont beleive him. So I requested one thing, not to serve me at work, at home infront of the kids, and to tell me so I can prepare.. I know its coming, but I guess I get nervous because secretly I want him to change his mind. (sigh) I dont know why I get so nervous and scared....I know at this point it is for the best, people need love and affection and for the greater part of our marriage I was took for granted, treated like shit, and ignored. And now getting blamed for everything because I have male friends I talk too. For long time I did think it was my fault, but slowley I am realizing that it is not all my fault. (of course he is telling everybody it is) But the txt messages I found in his phone, I want so to believe him when he says he has never touched any other women...but I cant..You dont tell somebody "wish you were here" if you dont have anything going on. This all sucks...I barely made it through work yesterday, and now today I have to go see the lawyer and relive everything.. All I know is I want his balls in a glass jar, when Im done....Im going for broke....Thats the only revenge I can get, because he will never fess up to what he has done to ruin this marriage. Flirting does not ruin a marriage. So the sad truth...I had no marriage to start with, was just on paper. Did anybody else get nervous and scared when you were first contacted by the other attorney?
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