Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV. I'm just observing myself and others. I'm seeing a lot of low self-esteem. I'm seeing a lot of focus on stbx's behaviors. Not pointing fingers here, cuz I'd have to point at myself too.
Take a moment with me to do a little visualization. I little trip back in time. Go back to a time when you were young (and knew it all!), gorgeous, sassy and single. Stay with me here! Focus! Picture it. Feel it.
Now imagine someone asking this younger sassy self: "What would you do if your future husband betrayed you?"
Chances are she'd say and very confidently too, "I'd kick his ass out!"
It is time to bring back our sassy selves. It is time to kick the ass out. Detach. His behaviors are his own. Kick him out of hearts.
Channel the young, gorgeous, confident woman inside of you. Dust her off and let her shine again. It is up to you how much she shines.
I'm shooting for somewhere between sweats and fuzzy slippers and a convertible and boy toy. But I'm not ruling anything out.
Hope this made you think...
Take a moment with me to do a little visualization. I little trip back in time. Go back to a time when you were young (and knew it all!), gorgeous, sassy and single. Stay with me here! Focus! Picture it. Feel it.
Now imagine someone asking this younger sassy self: "What would you do if your future husband betrayed you?"
Chances are she'd say and very confidently too, "I'd kick his ass out!"
It is time to bring back our sassy selves. It is time to kick the ass out. Detach. His behaviors are his own. Kick him out of hearts.
Channel the young, gorgeous, confident woman inside of you. Dust her off and let her shine again. It is up to you how much she shines.
I'm shooting for somewhere between sweats and fuzzy slippers and a convertible and boy toy. But I'm not ruling anything out.
Hope this made you think...
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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I have my maxed amount of epidural shots of my cervical DDD....(and no one cares about my lumbar DDD)..... I've done physical therapy, muscle relaxers, Amitriptyline, Nortryptiline, desipramine.....narcotics... So I decided to go to a spine specialist and they have me on Gabapentin. Its been two weeks and it did nothing for my lumbar ever... but it did seem to help my cervical and arm/hand pain...
I hate that I can't edit. Sorry.
Keep that thought and thank you soooo much for sharing it! Somewhere inside is that being...I going to search for her!!!!
Love and hugs to you!
You are right. It isn't just about cheating. It is about accepting much less than we should.
So not only do I have to search for that sassy, fun, smart, independent self of long ago, I have to figure out who the MUCH older self is too. It is a journey... NOT an easy one. It sometimes will make me really sad if I think about the life I wasted with that abusive man.. BUT... I could live to be 100!! I have lots of time, and you are right..I need to dust myself off and shine...thanks for the reminder. J
j2w: I know excactly what you mean about "existing". Stretch yourself. Dream! Pick something and then do it. Just do it. I picked zip lining after I read an article about it. Planned and did it. On my stbx's birthday to boot! Big or small. Just do it!
My young sassy self went to a hip hop concert friday with a girl friend...Lil Wayne is the singer.....I NEVER would have gone with the ex idiot....I had a blast! Katy (my middle daughter) said as I was getting ready..."Mom dad's a fool, you are hot! Know what, he is a fool!!
Zen thank you for posting this!!