I was at my nephew's wedding this last weekend. My father's aunt asked me if I was expecting??? She's like, "so are you expecting??" She said it nicely but that's NOT the point. I was wearing a large dress, since I'm about a 14 or so and I did not want it tight to show my tummy bulges. So, it ends up that no matter what dress I wear, I look pregnant! I can't help ruminating over this, and feel all the more resolved to lose the extra weight, but having done it 3 times in the past, actually AFTER I had my babies, I know how much focus and resolve it does take, not to much will power. It's so hard because I have chronic pain from fibro, along with chronic fatigue, and since I don't eat all that much, it's the inactivity I think that kills me. I do excercise, but I think I need to step that up more, which is hard because it can flare my pain up. So, all I can think of is that I have to watch everything I put in my mouth. It's so hard, but I have to do it! I can barely look at myself in pictures. This is an awful place to be. I can't believe that these days with so many of us over our ideal weight, that someone would actually have the nerve to ask someone that. Keep in mind, I'm 45 too!!
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