omg i binged!!!! i dnt know how many cals prob 800 or so but thats DISGUSTING and i dont know wat to do......ive been doing bad lately (lik ive been starving and then eating 2 get through workouts....i still dont kno if i hav and ED) and 2nite i was home alone and i just felt lik i wanted 2 eat....and wats worse is i honestly wasnt hungry!!!!! so i went 2 make a bag of 100 cal popcorn and ate that...then a mini whole wheat bagel and then a special k bar and then a 100 cal kudos bar......and then finally an whole wheat english muffin!!!!!......i just feel GROSS and i tried 2 purge it cuz i felt guilty but then i stopped bcuz i used 2 purge (i think it was bulimia but idk) a few summers ago and i dont want 2 do that again.....but im just havin a hard time lately and im always SO tired and sumtimes i wish this could all end.....i mean im not fat....i weigh about 125 and im 5'4" and i wear a size 2/4(depends on brand) but all i want is a size 0.....and im not evn sure its healthy but IDC I WANT 2 B THIN......and ive become addicted 2 "thinspo" pics and its just i dnt think im doin this rite.....i dnt want 2 gain weight becuz of stupid binges.....i dnt think ive ever tru;y binged before.......but i feel gross and all i want 2 do is go 2 the gym but i cant cuz its the 4th and i would run but its dark and pouring rain so i am just sitting here and gaining weight and i feel fat and miserable and i just want 2 throw the scale through the window,.....but i cant cuz its my moms.......but i feel SO guilty now.......i just want 2 b thin.....im afraid of having an ED......
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