Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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deleted_user 12/02/2007

There will definitely be scars. This is the worst I've ever done. There was blood splatter on the walls in my bathroom. I didn't even realize it until later, when I walked in there and saw it there, a dull red on the beige walls. The blade bit my skin at least 50 times, if not more. It didn't penetrate my skin every time, but is raw if it didn't. Raw, red, and cut.

I feel so stupid. I haven't cut myself in over three months, and now it's the worst I've ever done. I just remember walking down stairs, grabbing the scissors, going back upstairs and having at it. The blood running down my wrist, over my fingers, and into the white porcelain sink. I sank to the floor, grabbing my knees, and rocked. "You are an ugly liar. You are unworthy. A stupid bitch. Look at what I have done to my family. I deserve this pain. I DESERVE IT!!!!" is the mantra that passed my lips while I sat there, trying to breathe through my nose.

deleted_user 12/02/2007

oh my friend, you are none of that

*hugs*

please come talk to us when you feel like this

*hugs*

how can i help YOU?

deleted_user 12/02/2007

I wish I had come here instead, but it was too late. All I need is just someone to talk to, but if I can't make it here on time, what am I supposed to do? Thanks for the hugs, those really are the best medicine.

deleted_user 12/02/2007

oh god hun! i am so sorry. you are not worthless!!!!!!!! please let us help you if we can.

deleted_user 12/02/2007

Oh that is awful, you are not worthless...are you OK now?

deleted_user 12/02/2007

I am better today. This happened last night, and I called a friend who talked with me through the night. I still feel terrible though, because I have to admit to my psych and at the very least my parents that I have had a relapse. I don't know if I can do it. I have to cover the cuts from everyone because if Vikki (my best friend and roommate) finds out I did it again, she'll just yell at me again. I can't take that right now. I'm just trying to hold myself together right now.

deleted_user 12/02/2007

you know where to come next time hun.That's scary,you do know that is not correct thinking don't you?You're not 100% at the mo xxx

MOooser 12/02/2007

Sweetheart you are not worthless and you dont deserve any pain either. You re not a liar. I hope you have been seen by a doc babes xxxx Please dont be so harsh on yourself xxxx

deleted_user 12/02/2007

Susy, I do know it's not correct thinking, and boy are there some days I wish I could control it, like yesterday. It's crazy how those thoughts control me. I do know to come here next time, but it's fighting the urge to do it first and make it here. I'm really going to push next time to get here.

deleted_user 12/02/2007

oh god. so sorry you are going through this. so many many many hugs that i wish i could give you in person and wish that i could be there to talk to you when you needed it.

deleted_user 12/02/2007

Dani,I'm glad you can see that.I have had those thoughts and done some dramtic things too,I hope that you will turn to us next time,if we can't help maybe we can encourage you to get the help you need...we want you to be well.Hugs hunny x

deleted_user 12/02/2007

Thanks everyone. To tell the truth to everyone I was tempted to do it again today, because I keep seeing the cuts and think I deserve them. I'm here alone again today, just finishing a movie to distract myself, and I decided I wanted to come here and see if anyone would listen. Glad to see there are so many awesome people who care about me, even though we don't know each other. I may have had a relapse, but with your help and the help of my family, friends, and psychologist, I know I can come back from this. I'm going to fight my way back to the happier days I've been having. And while they may not have been like the days before my depression really hit, they had definitely been better. Just hope to get back there soon. HUGS TO EVERYONE!!!!

deleted_user 12/02/2007

that is just it! get back on that horse and know you deserve better than that! you can do it and one mistake is not the end....you got there before and you will again. i am here for you too hun! big hugs!

MOooser 12/02/2007

Fair play to you Dani... thats the spirit. You just keep going and you ll get there xxx

deleted_user 12/02/2007

I know several people who have either cut themselves or ended up hurting themselves in some manner. I know for a fact it is not a pretty road to walk and all who do it are not happy people. But you are not unworthy of anything. You are just like everyone else. You deserve to be loved by your family. If they can't love you then they can't love themselves either.

deleted_user 12/02/2007

you are not worthles you are our friend

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