It feels like no matter what I do I can't get past this. I'm taking my medication, going to therapy once a week, trying to be social on a regular basis and keeping busy with cleanining and other things. And usually my sleep is okay, but the past two nights have been awful. My good friends son (13 years old) died of cancer about a month ago and my Grandpa passed away from covid just last wednesday. I'm living with my parents because I am unable to hold down a job. I might have a few good weeks, but then I cycle through everything again. I am so sick of this that sometimes I just want to end it all. My grandma will be coming to live with us, so it will be me, my parents, my special needs brother (22), and my sister (18). We have to rearange the house to make things work, which is fine, but a little overwhelming for me. There have just been a lot of stressors in my life lately. And don't get me wrong, I am so glad my grandma is coming to live with us. I absolutely love her and I want what is best for her. My thoughts of suicide have worsened the past couple of days and I ended up cutting myself yesterday after going quite a while without cutting. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm having a hard time seeing the point in continuing on. Honestly, I've lost what little hope I had... Please help.
So just because the day keeps getting worse, I just found a red nodule cyst like thing on my 4 year old dogs paw. My dogs are obviously my saving grace.So now I have to just not breathe until I can get him to the vet.Make it stop, what have I done, really. It is one thing after another
I woke up fatherless today.Last night at around 2:30 God took my father home.I spent yesterday by his side reading from the bible to him.I pray he finds the peace he couldnt get in lifeI kove you dad