I'm trying to combat the suicidal thoughts that seem to be consuming and taking over every ounce of my mind. Everything I think about ultimately leads me to that as though it's some kind of 'cure' yet I have that little bit of rationality left within me to know that isn't so. The more days that pass me by, the less my rational mind seems to respond, seems to work and I start feeling desperate, desperate for my mind to sort itself out and to be more rational. I need and want to feel worthy of life, like my life is worth fighting for. I've fought for many years against other people and their abuse towards me but I feel that I can't fight for my life. It's so screwed up and I'm feeling very screwed up. This is not a post saying that I'm going to commit suicide, because I am not but I guess I need some comforting words and for people to tell me it won't always be this way BUT to actually mean what they say. Please don't give me false words of hope, please be real and honest with me. Will this get better?
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