I LIVE (IT SEEMS LIKE ) IN A DARK AND DURY TUNNELL.EVERY DAY I PRY MY SELF OUT OF BED AND HAVE TO GET MY KIDS OFF TO SCHOOL.THEN IT OFF TO WORK.BUT IT SEEMS NO MATTER WHERE I GO I CARY THIS SADNES AND DISCONECT FROM THE WORLD.I KEEP TRYING TO TURN TO THINGS TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER(NOT CARING WHAT THE CONSAQENCES ARE) AND IT ONLY LAST FOR A SHORT TIME.I HAVE GAINED ALOT OF WEIGHT AND MY MEDS REALLY SUCK.THEY DO NOTHING FOR ME.MY HUSBAND FAMILY MOVED IN 2 YEARS AGO AND THEY LIVE IN OUR BASEMENT AND WITH ME IN THIS SUCH DEEP DEPRESSION I FEEL AS THOUGH I AM NEVER GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS.I SEE MY PHSYC AND IT SEEMS AS THOUGH I REPEAT MY SELF WITH MY PROBLEMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT IT REALLY GOES NO WHERE.I HAVE HAD ONE DRAMA AFTER ANOTHER SINCE I WAS 5.(RAPE)I ALWAYS THOUGHT I COULD OVER COME THESE THINGS.BUT I FIND MYSELF WONDERING IF LIFE WOULD BE BETTER WITH OUT THE PAIN.I MEAN WHO REALLY NEEDS ME OTHER THAN MY KIDS?I ALREADY AM STARTING TO FEEL DISCOUNTED FROM THEM ALREADY( DAUGHTER WHO IS FIFTEEN EXSPECAILY) I CAN\'T HELP THESE FEELING.I WANT TO END OR I WANT TO GET BETTER.I HAVE NOT SEEN MANY CASES OR HAVE READ IF ANYONE GETS BETTER.I HAVE DONE THINGS I AM NOT PROUD OF AND I REALLY DON\'T LIKE WHO I AM ANYMORE.ALL I FEEL IS SADNESS AND FEELING VERY DICOUNECTED FROM THE WORLD.I PUSH MY SELF EVERY DAY TELLING MY SELF IT WILL GET BETTER.BUT SO FAR IT HAS NOT AND THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A YEAR NOW AND THE LAST MONTH HAS BEEN AT ITS WORST.THAT IS WHY I AM CRYING FOR SUPPORT OR JUST TRYING TO FIND ANSWERS OF WHY I LIVE IN THIS DARK DURY TUNNEL AND THE PAIN I FEEL EVERYDAY(THE JOINTS THAT HURT) FEELING LIKE I AM ILL AND WANT TO JUST SLEEP .BUT I CAN\'T MY HUSBAND TELLS ME WE WOULD LOOSE EVERYTHING IF I DON\'T WORK MY JOBS.MAYBE I HOPE TO SEE THE LIGHT EITHER WAY.I DON\'T WANT TO SUFFER ANY MORE.PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THE FIRST STEPS TO GET RID OF THIS DEPRESSION.
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