Will I ever feel happy again?
The last eight years of my life have been the worst years of my life. That is when everything started to tumble down hill. I have people tell me these are the best years of my life. How can they if I have lost several loved ones who were very close to me? And when I am also taking care of my sick GrandMother? I have faked myself into the I'm happy mood for 7 years now. I still don't know how it truely feels to be happy. Will I ever have that feeling back again?
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I hurt myself today. It's the only thing that makes me feel good. I'm a shitty person and I feel like I should be punished. I've done bad things and I can't handle the guilt. I can't sleep. I don't eat. I've lost so much weight. I feel so fuckin exhausted all the time. I'm emotionally and mentally done
I dont know why I always just dive right in heart first. I knew better than to try to get involved with someone when I am still dealing with stbex. I knew that was not the smart thing to do. I did not go out looking for it, but man it felt good and it felt right. Better than right, it felt perfect. Then the bubble burst. I am starting to believe the issues I had with my stbex were my issues and I...
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