Last night I couldn't sleep because all I could see was my fathers face and here a voice of a little girl saying "mommy daddy won't wake up". I know that this has to do with my dads suicide 19yrs ago. I just started crying last night and could not make the image or voice go away. I am beginning to think I am having a major mental meltdown or something. And that scares me because when that happens I return to cutting myself and get crazy thoughts. I guess my brick wall I built to keep everything hidden is finally crumbling again.
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