i have thought about this alot...over and over again i have just been wondering why dont i just die...kill myself and get it over with....i dont have much to live for...any friend i ever had for a short time leaves as soon as i get depressed...i have no support and no listens....i dont think even God can save me now...i have come up with a 5 year plan(well maybe less)...i do have a boyfriend that wants to marry me so i figure get married...have a kid...kill myself...why not i would have accomplished almost all the things people regret before i die...and before u even start rattling of answers about how much people will miss me...they will get over it!!!! they are sick of dealing with me....i am a burden to them...i wont ever get better so whats the point...i will be depressed on some level every day of my life...i think God really hates me sometimes...and yes i kow spirtually i could go to hell for killing myself but at this point i dont care...why?...its hell just waking up every morning dealing with some other bullshit disappointment after another...no cares about me really...they dont want to hear about my dark thoughts...all they want to hear about is the happy shit i make up most of the time...so why not die????...what am i going to miss out on....NOTHING!!!!!!!
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