my name is tina and i just joined here i am usually on military families. i have suffered with depression most of my life. it comes and goes. but recently it just wont stop. nothing i do works out. i just feel like i have failed everyone. my kids have their own prob so i cant talk to them. i have ne friends to talk to. i dont make friends cause they always seem to screw me over.so i just dont have any. everyone always wants me to be there for them but they r not willing to be there for me.my husband and i are on the verge of divorce. it doesnt really mater why just that we cant talk without fighting. he is gone alot so e argue over the phone. it makes for very bad days. i cant pay the bills and had to give up going to the chiropractor for a screwed up back cause i cant afford it. dr want to much money to go see them so i have to deal with all my ailments with tylenol and no that does not work. i amstarting to wonder why i keep trying. my kids dont need me hasband doesnt seem to care. i cant get a job cause i only know how to be a maid and work in fast food. and my back wont let me work in motels and i have a hard time standing for long periods of time. i asked my hubby to come home and work and he just says he doesnt want to not that he cant he doesnt want to i just cant take anymore i dont want anyone to feel xsorry for me i just needed to vent.i have gone from smoking 1 pack in 24 hours to 2 packs in a12 hour period.i used to get comfort from praying and spending time with god but now it just leaves me empty. nothing seems to work i just cant keep going on like this it hurts to much physically mentally and spiritually. ok well damn this ended up longer than i thought it would i am sorry i know to some of you this is just trivial and i am sorry for taking up so much of your time thank you