I am so messed up, how is it that I hurt the people I love the most, I do stupid things, say things I don't mean. I just can't make them understand that I am depressed. They think I am ok, because I can hide the way I really feel by putting on a happy face. They don't see or really know whats going on. Its like at any moment I'm going to lose it. At times I feel like running away. Yes, I am one who keeps things all bottled up. I'm so messed up.........
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??