Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
A little bit about what I think has caused my depression. About two years ago I had a 1 night stand and have felt extremely bad about it every since. Yes I did tell my husband and there are not to many days that go by that he dont make me feel worse that what I already feel.
I found out that he answered a personal ad and when I asked him about it he lied to me. I have been pretty depressed since I found out. I guess its more because when he asked me I told him the truth and he just lies about it to me. (this is not the first time he has lied to me about this type of matter.)
Anyway last week is when the depression started and over the last 4 mornings I have woke up crying and he seems to think that I can just stop at a drop of a pin. I have tried to explain to him that it is not that easy, but he doesnt believe me. I dont want to go to work, I dont want to eat (have lost over 10lbs in the last 4-5 days.), dont want to talk, just want to curl up and cry.
Last night in bed we got into an argument about him lying to me and needless to say he grabbed his pillow and a blanket. I followed him and we had a few more words and I went back into the bedroom and grabbed this little box that I have a raiser blade in. Sometimes I get so depressed that I just cut myself, its never been deep enough to draw a whole lot of blood. That was until last night when I grabbed it out of the box I cut my forearm and was going to continue down my arm. After making the first cut something in side of me said What are you doing? I looked back down at my arm and it was bleeding pretty good not enough for stitches. Its just like I just realized what I had actually done it was weird. I threw the raiser blade behind my dresser. I was crying to begin and when I couldnt get the bleeding to stop it made it worse and I said out loud that I couldnt get it to stop. My husband heard me and came in a few seconds later. He helped got it bandaged up for me. He kept telling me that crying was not going to help and so I just need to stop it. I didnt sleep very much and again woke up crying.
I dont like the person that I become when this happens I use to be a very happy person.
I just really wished that he could understand that I dont or cant just turn these moods on and off. Cuz I would rather keep them off for good and go back to being the happy person I use to be. But I am sure all of you feel the same way.
I found out that he answered a personal ad and when I asked him about it he lied to me. I have been pretty depressed since I found out. I guess its more because when he asked me I told him the truth and he just lies about it to me. (this is not the first time he has lied to me about this type of matter.)
Anyway last week is when the depression started and over the last 4 mornings I have woke up crying and he seems to think that I can just stop at a drop of a pin. I have tried to explain to him that it is not that easy, but he doesnt believe me. I dont want to go to work, I dont want to eat (have lost over 10lbs in the last 4-5 days.), dont want to talk, just want to curl up and cry.
Last night in bed we got into an argument about him lying to me and needless to say he grabbed his pillow and a blanket. I followed him and we had a few more words and I went back into the bedroom and grabbed this little box that I have a raiser blade in. Sometimes I get so depressed that I just cut myself, its never been deep enough to draw a whole lot of blood. That was until last night when I grabbed it out of the box I cut my forearm and was going to continue down my arm. After making the first cut something in side of me said What are you doing? I looked back down at my arm and it was bleeding pretty good not enough for stitches. Its just like I just realized what I had actually done it was weird. I threw the raiser blade behind my dresser. I was crying to begin and when I couldnt get the bleeding to stop it made it worse and I said out loud that I couldnt get it to stop. My husband heard me and came in a few seconds later. He helped got it bandaged up for me. He kept telling me that crying was not going to help and so I just need to stop it. I didnt sleep very much and again woke up crying.
I dont like the person that I become when this happens I use to be a very happy person.
I just really wished that he could understand that I dont or cant just turn these moods on and off. Cuz I would rather keep them off for good and go back to being the happy person I use to be. But I am sure all of you feel the same way.
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Yes I have a Dr appt Sat morning.
Parents are in Flordia right now.
I don't have any friends to talk to and I don'g want to burden my kids with my problems.
If he won't go, you need to think about things. It takes 2 to work at a marriage...if only 1 is working then the marriage is doomed.
FIRST AND FOREMOST get yourself some help for your cutting crisis. Then deal with the marriage...you can't help anything if you are falling apart.
You are in an incredible amount of pain and you need to nurture yourself and heal yourself before you can heal anything else. Take time for you for a bit.
I hope you can feel some comfort soon. I know how much it sucks to be in the middle of huge pain.