It has been almost been 3wks since my husband left me and shacked up with another woman,i am getting used to being without him,unfortunatly i am undergoing treatment for cancer,i,m doing ok but i have just had to be admitted to hospital because i am very anemic,i can,t deny this makes me very depressed,but on top of it,i had to call my son at his work to explain that i was yet again being admitted hopefully just until tomorrow,i asked if he,d mind bringing me some facecloth,s etc,to cut a long story short his dad [my ex] has accused me of wanting sympathy which i don,t like!but this has really got to me,i am not feeling too great and for 4wk,s now i have felt truthfully like just taking all my morphine and just go to sleep,why can,t i be strong enough to just ignore him? i normally wouldn,t put up with anyone putting me down,yet right now i find i,m taking little things to heart,i keep thinking why bother? whats the point? i just can,t seem to get out of ths dark mood,i,m already on antidepressants but i might as well eat jelly baby,s cuz i,m really not coping very well with all of this crap,i am fed up with being told to cheer up,why? i can,t seem to cheer up if i could i wouldn,t be like this would i? i am totally fed up i have been thinking of just taking all my morphine,then i look at my son although he,s 20yrs i keep thinking what will happen to him? to be honest if it wasen,t for him i can honestly say 100% i wouldn,t be here,i just can,t seem to get outta this mood,what have i done so wrong to deserve this? i just wish i wasen,t here anymore why can,t i be like i was before
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