I feel like I'm failing at this whole earth life thing. There's so much to learn, and while I know things, I just can't get them right. There's so much wisdom out there, but I'm unable to live it. I'm caught up in petty worries, like a gerbil running on a wheel never getting anywhere. I'm going to get to the end of my life and realize I've wasted it. That I could never break out of the fears that encase me like a mummy, and that I've totally missed the whole point of being here. I'm watching it happen before my very eyes, but I don't know how to do things any differently. It all feels beyond my control.
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