Some days it's really weird, I feel like I don't know myself at all. It's hard to explain, but it's as if I am not myself ever, I mean offline I'm kind of quiet and introverted, but when I have to be around people I just do what I think I'm supposed to do. But that doesn't explain this right either. I feel almost as if I am pushed into doing things that I don't really want to do and I just sort of float along and let things just happen. I'm not saying it makes me feel angry or upset, because mostly it doesn't bother me at all. Today I was reading some of the other discussions here and I thought suddenly, who am I? am I the person that I am online? or the person that I am offline? because online, I can talk to people and show that I am smart and like to have decent conversations, and I can be funny and make people laugh, and I like to help people if they have a problem I can solve due to experience or just thinking about it. Like the other day, I was in a chat room joking around with people there and a guy came on saying he was feeling lonely and didn't have any idea how to meet people because he was very shy and didn't like the bar scene, so I said well maybe you could get involved in a group activity of some kind, that way right off you have something in common with the people, and it will be a mix of guys and girls and you won't feel the same kind of pressure that you would feel in a one on one situation so you could just be yourself, and he really did seem to like that idea, i don't know if it's a great idea lol but maybe it could work, anyway so I felt pleased because I had helped someone, but offline I would never get an opportunity like that, to help someone out, or to make people laugh or have a rewarding interesting conversation, I mean I'm just not bold enough I guess, or maybe I am pretending to be someone else when I'm online? it's just a weird thought to have I guess, so I am now wondering who is the real me? or is there even a real me anymore? has it been lost under all these years of doing what I'm told to do offline and being who I want to be online?
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