One of the MAJOR signs of depression is only thinking about yourself and no matter how horrible that sounds, I know what that is like. I am not sure who you are referring to, but have some idea.

It's easy to see that there is no line to be drawn...you give advice, because you want to and if someone is not gratified by your comments, you just let it go.

I am 27 and I know what it was like hurting like I did when I was younger...and like I still do sometimes. You reach out as much as you can and fall back...sometimes away from the helping hand that you wanted to grab.

unfortunately it isn't only the young ones that can be that cruel and rude. i don't understand it either but have to admit that when someone is nasty to me or a friend i will try to politely call them on it. however there are a lot of them that feel they have to attack ppl when a person has an opinion and none of us should let that continue.

my opinion is... if u have a prob w someone, take it private!!!
There r alot of ppl here holding on to us for help. Ive gotten to the point of just writing in my journal then posting to plz read it.
Only my Opinion of course my fav saying is
Assuption is the mother of all fuck ups!!

i dont think we should be labelled 'teenagers' or 'young ones' because everybody is different. people out of their teens cause trouble here and some younger people too. But there shouldnt be a line drawn. lack of respect or bad behaviour is exactly that no matter what age and the consequences should be the same whether you're 18 or 70. At that age you are adult enough to be aware of what is acceptable and what is not. Ageism, whether positive or negative isn't fair if the person if old enough to be aware

Age is irrelevant to me. I will let someone know if I feel they have crossed a limit or boundary with me, but I won't engage them on it. I am not a parent to the world.

The issue is not rudeness or age, but the effect of the internet. Many people will act out on the internet in ways that they would never do in person or in a "live" discussion.

I disagree on the notion of taking "it" private. If comments are made publicly then that is how I would address it. I don't get into arguments and as soon as something begins to degenerate into personal attack -- I am gone.

The core issue is wanting people to change. The rude person is only seeking to have the other person change. The person who has experienced the rudeness is then also looking to have the other person change.

I have no intention of changing for others, nor do I expect anyone to change for me. When I find out that my values are incompatible with another, I put distance there.

Point perfectly made, osteoron.

We aren't here to change people, but to give so that someday, we may be able to take.

Thank you for all the great insight you guys. I guess it's about understanding my own boundaries. I really appreciate everyone's opinion here as it's giving me "fresh eyes" to view the situations that come along.

Other than the few people who act out meanly and hatefully on purpose and do it here because if they acted that way in real life they'd get the crap kicked out of themselves every day, things are n't that bad here. Consider, this is a "Depression" post, but when you look at the people here they're raely dealing solely with depression. Some are bi-polar, some alcoholic, some drug-addicted, some physically ill, some in contstant pain every day, many with a combination of two or more problems. In way way it's kind of a testament to human nature that there is so much caring and giving that manages toget done here espite everyone's personal pains.

Yes, you're absolutely spot on~ we have to consider the source(s) of what is really taking place for people on many levels. Very complex...which is why a simple hug can be the best Rx!

I think you are noticing two different things... age and the quick post/exit thing.

As for age, a lot of young ones (under 17) come in here because there is so many people here in this group that it is one of the most active boards on DS, sometimes to an almost chat level of frequency whereas other boards may take a day or two before someone comments on a thread. A lot of the older (as in age) members try to keep an eye out for young ones as they are more vunnerable and this is the internet.

As for the quick post/exit things, those can be from posters of any age... they usually post something heart wrenching or plea for help but don't stay online to participate in their own topic of discussions. Some of these may be "lurking" by signing off and watching the thread to see what people say. Perhaps they are not up to communicating but need to read what others have to say... or perhaps they post it just for grins, who knows?

It is each persons choice as to what they want to respond to and/or ignore. Sometimes it is refreshing to see what the younger members have to say as they do see things from a different angle than us older folks do. But you do have to stay within your own comfort zone when choosing which posts to respond to.

In that caseHUGS ALL ROUND FOR EVERYONE HERE! :)

A medical or mental health issue is not justification for anyone in my view. I take into account issues of diversity and what each of us may struggle with, but I also recognize the impact that can have on me and others. Behaviour is behaviour. Ironically, some things that I find inappropriate, are not necessarily common, so it was a learning lesson for me over the years, that just because I would like it if the world worked one way (but doesn't) that that is my issue to contend with.

Sympathy and empathy, in my opinion, does not require any of us to change or lower our standards on how we want to be treated.

You know what I respect where youre coming from. I also remember what I felt like when I was in my late teens, early 20's. I struggled so dang much. I still do now but it's different. I think that my experiences in life and what Ive learned is somtimes my only gift to offer. I can actually say and mean that I can feel someones pain. I admire the younger people here. They are reaching out for those of us who are willing to help. Just because they dont seem to care they hear us. I didnt reach out when I was younger so I suffered alone and in silence. If I could extend my hand and help even one person know that I care, truly and honestly care then it is so worth it to me.

Hmmm. I might add that sometimes for people with sexual abuse in their lives, that a hug can be harmful to their emotional well-being.

Let's hear it for flowers, high-fives and other means of support.

I never thought of it like that, Osteroron. Sometimes just the idea of a physical touch like a hug, even over the computer, could be repulsice to some survivors... but then again, the idea of someone wanting to hug you and JUST hug you, to touch without any desire nor intention to harm you, can also be a healing thing. Part of it may be a male/female thing, too. As if a hug from one gender is okay to a person but not from the other... flowers are a great suggestion if one does not know if a hug would help or harm. Thanks, I just never even thought about that.