
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
Dear PPL of DS:
I am sort of confused by where we, as a community, draw the line when it comes to extending concern and care for others only to have it tossed back into faces as "being harsh" or "overly reactive" etc.
I also notice that this is occurring (day 2 here) where someone under the age of 21 posts a thread; asks a question; then really doesn't respond to what is being presented. For me, that seems rude and inconsiderate so my question is: do you draw the line on the age factor or not? I believe in unconditional love and support, but I don't believe in letting teenagers or whomever get away with rudeness.
I would love to hear from others to help me understand this situation!
I am sort of confused by where we, as a community, draw the line when it comes to extending concern and care for others only to have it tossed back into faces as "being harsh" or "overly reactive" etc.
I also notice that this is occurring (day 2 here) where someone under the age of 21 posts a thread; asks a question; then really doesn't respond to what is being presented. For me, that seems rude and inconsiderate so my question is: do you draw the line on the age factor or not? I believe in unconditional love and support, but I don't believe in letting teenagers or whomever get away with rudeness.
I would love to hear from others to help me understand this situation!
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It's easy to see that there is no line to be drawn...you give advice, because you want to and if someone is not gratified by your comments, you just let it go.
I am 27 and I know what it was like hurting like I did when I was younger...and like I still do sometimes. You reach out as much as you can and fall back...sometimes away from the helping hand that you wanted to grab.
There r alot of ppl here holding on to us for help. Ive gotten to the point of just writing in my journal then posting to plz read it.
Only my Opinion of course my fav saying is
Assuption is the mother of all fuck ups!!
The issue is not rudeness or age, but the effect of the internet. Many people will act out on the internet in ways that they would never do in person or in a "live" discussion.
I disagree on the notion of taking "it" private. If comments are made publicly then that is how I would address it. I don't get into arguments and as soon as something begins to degenerate into personal attack -- I am gone.
The core issue is wanting people to change. The rude person is only seeking to have the other person change. The person who has experienced the rudeness is then also looking to have the other person change.
I have no intention of changing for others, nor do I expect anyone to change for me. When I find out that my values are incompatible with another, I put distance there.
We aren't here to change people, but to give so that someday, we may be able to take.
As for age, a lot of young ones (under 17) come in here because there is so many people here in this group that it is one of the most active boards on DS, sometimes to an almost chat level of frequency whereas other boards may take a day or two before someone comments on a thread. A lot of the older (as in age) members try to keep an eye out for young ones as they are more vunnerable and this is the internet.
As for the quick post/exit things, those can be from posters of any age... they usually post something heart wrenching or plea for help but don't stay online to participate in their own topic of discussions. Some of these may be "lurking" by signing off and watching the thread to see what people say. Perhaps they are not up to communicating but need to read what others have to say... or perhaps they post it just for grins, who knows?
It is each persons choice as to what they want to respond to and/or ignore. Sometimes it is refreshing to see what the younger members have to say as they do see things from a different angle than us older folks do. But you do have to stay within your own comfort zone when choosing which posts to respond to.
Sympathy and empathy, in my opinion, does not require any of us to change or lower our standards on how we want to be treated.
Let's hear it for flowers, high-fives and other means of support.