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what would you do?

deleted_user
deleted_user
ok....there is a lot of background to this one but i will try to keep it short. there is this girl i was friends with for about 20 years and we stopped speaking because i tried to let her know i was worried about how much she was drinking and the way she was running around behind her bf's back and i got attacked in a nasty way by her and a couple others for trying to get her to see what i had been saying to her for yrs and asking her to show some responibility. well it has been a few years now and i just ran into her ex and he asked me to tell him the truth about it all. for some reason her name has been popping up again a lot with my friends and they are letting her back in even though she was horrible to them for agreeing with me then. so this has been bugging me and i told him everything since i felt he should know. i would have told him anyway but she is making me nuts again! she is whining to everyone how mean some of us were to her when she was the one ruining her own life then. so i am wondering, would it make me feel better to call her on it once more and let her know this guys she screwed over finally knows every detail? what would you guys do? how would you get her out of your head?
starfish
starfish
If you want her out of your head, don't let her back in!!!

I would wash my hands of her, and move on, or she may well pull you right back in.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i keep trying but it seems like everytime i call home....someone says something about her. i have told them to stop and it slips out. one even mentioned that we should bury the hacket but i tried, about 6 months ago. i sent her a note saying we had both fucked up some and could we see what we could do and got ignored and that was when she started crying to them about how awful me and a few others were for making her see what she was doing, of course she just said we were mean to her and wouldn't support her at her time of need. bah! time of need my butt....she was drinking all the time and sleeping with diff guys behind her bf's back and even got the poor guy to pay for an abortion when someone else knocked her up! she is still up the same shit but they are falling for it again won't shut up! i am guessing i should limit my time with them then huh?
starfish
starfish
Well, just head them off if the subject of her comes up....give them a chance to remember you no longer want anything to do with her...if it gets to be too much, or they dont get the hint, you may have to find other friends, at least until the drama queen moves away.
deleted_user
deleted_user
ive been in a situation where i had to tell one of my best friends that her husband to be had come on to me and also cheated on her before. i didnt want her marrage based on lies. it was hard, i was the only one telling the truth whilst other people tried to hide it, the truth came out in the end. he came clean. they talked it out and got married. she has thanked me and we are all the best of friends. i dont cheat and i wont lie for someone that is. at the end of the day if you are doing what you feel is right, you can explain that but you dont need to defend yourself. i took alot of stick for what i did but i wouldnt change it. i rather someone hated me for being honest than loved me for being a liar. believe in your judgement.x
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tough one for sure. Sounds like at some point you decided to let it go. Why bring that drama back into your life? (for no good reason?) As for contacting her, I'd say leave it the way it is. Who needs extra stress? She was out of your head once, I'd say keep her out, unless there is a good reason to the contrary. (I know this sounds selfish...but sometimes the first person I need to consider is myself.)
deleted_user
deleted_user
i know i should just ignore her and let it go....as mom says be a duck and let it roll like water off my back, but it is so pissing me off! she is still trying to tell the ex the current fiancee is gay since she got caught with him. and she is using that poor kid to open her dads pizza shop again but not helping him at all and just sucking him dry moneywise! why can't anyone else see she is a fucking parasite!
deleted_user
deleted_user
i had gotten rid of her...till i moved and a friend broke up with someone this girl used to cheat with and she took that chance to move right in with the pity party and brought all of it right back up to everyone's thoughts again. i am trying to stop letting her in but she makes my blood boil now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
what she chooses to do with her life is her choice, i have friends that i love dearly and they still do things which i think are wrong but its not my life, its theirs, they have to live with it not me. youve tried to say something to her and she doesnt want to know. let her be and as for her slagging you off, your real friends that know you will know different and they are the ones which count.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have to agree with starfish and your mom. If you can't change it then let it go sweetie.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i know...i know....but, i am no longer concerned for her. i am sickened by her and want to let her know once and for all how i really feel. to purge it from me. i am not sure screaming about her here will take enough of it out. oi! what to do.... thanks for letting me vent btw....may need to for a tad more if that is ok... (weak grin)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Keeping her out of your life and ignoring her existance should tell her how you feel. It's hard not to let things like this drag you down but you have already done the right thing and need to let the whole thing go now. It's not your responsibility to save everyone from this woman, people need to make their own mistakes and learn from them, just as we all have in the past, and will again in the future. You are the most important thing in your life at the moment, don't let someone you have no dealings with become the focal point.
deleted_user
deleted_user
let it slide... you already extended an olive branch... anything you say now may just get turned around and used against you.

If you have to let it out, try writing in all out in a letter... but do NOT mail it... burn it in like a ceremony releasing you of her negativity.
deleted_user
deleted_user
She doesn't sound like a person to be around.If everyone else is a mug let them find out for themselves about her.You just stick to your morals and if people mention her say you've made it clear what you think of her and that's all you need to say : )x
deleted_user
deleted_user
ARGH!!!!!!!!!! i know you are right but oh man she pisses me off! oh well... i will figure something out. i am trying really hard to be mature and not lash out at her but it is hard. oh well... off to keep trying.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly how u feel love but in my experience doing anything about it tneds to make things worse. jsut make it known that you are not willing to ac like a child like her then hopefully people will respect you for it and end up thinking she's a twat x
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