I want to ask what you all think is the right or the best thing to do about my relationship with my father. I have a long history of problems with him. Here's the basics. My mother died when I was 19. After her death, I learned that my father was unfaithful almost their whole marriage, and she was waiting for me to get out of school to leave him. I am the youngest and was in college, so I spent a lot of time with him. There are lots of stories that I could tell, but let's just say that I became the parent. His alcohol abuse became much more apparent. He started dating two weeks after my mother died and was upset that I had a hard time with that. Well, I have tried to keep a relationship with him going while setting some boundaries, like: we don't stay with him at his house, he doesn't have my kids by himself, and we don't get in the car with him driving. The end result of my efforts is that he has returned the Christmas gift that I sent him last month, although he sent to gifts to us (all part of his game). I have spoken with his wife and asked that they forget me. Just forget that I exist. I haven't spoken with him in over a year. I have bad anxiety around him. I don't know what else to do, but just get him out of my life. But it never feels good. I feel guilty that I can't figure out how to be a daughter to him. If any of you have any experience similar to this, what do you think? I don't think that there is a good answer. I have friends who have one parent that is a problem, but they are close to the other. I think I also have a lot of guilt about my mother. My counselor has been asking me to talk to my mother. She's been dead for 21 years, and I can't seem to do that. It's like I can't find her anymore.
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