so i just got out the hospital a couple days ago and i have already cut again and then i got high not once but more like since i got out. i try so hard to get better then i go back. i go right back to cutting and fucking hurtin my self how ever even burning. then i go get high and do it some more...drive around high then get somewhere drink and get high then drive home to smoke a lil more then go cut. then i wake up feel bad about it try to talk and do it all over again. i just dont want to be here i want to die and forget all this shit. on top of that my dad decides he isnt going to give me money any more...meaning on top of being a full time student and maitaining a part time job now means i either need another part time or a full time job. i am 19 and have no where to live outside of school having barelly having any support...i cant take it there is no reason to live....
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Feeling pretty bad today. I'm exhausted in every way. Tired of living this life where nothing changes or gets better despite how much I try. Had a bad life all my life and I'm just tired of being here.