Im new here. Im pretty sure i have depression. At least when i tell people what goes on with me thats what they say it is. Im 19. Im in college. I work about 24 hours a week. Anyhow, what goes on with me. I had a somewhat fucked up childhood. You can read it in my journal. I get depressed all the time and don't wanna move or do anything. It use to only happen like once a month or so, but its getting to happen every night. I am constantly tired, but i can never sleep.I try to hide myself from people, cause i hate who i am. I am the quiet guy who barely talks. I envy everyone else cause they seem so care free. I never know what to do. I forget things so easily. I never try to think, cause the more i think the worse i feel. I started smoking cause it seems like the less suicidal way to kill yourself. May sound stupid but it makes sense to me. I have tried to kill myself before, but it never works out. I don't know whats worse, killing yourself or failing at killing yourself. I want to see a doctor but i can't cause i don't have any money. I would just like someone to talk to who doesn't tell me all i do is whine, complain and take up space. Who is willing to talk to me?
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