What kills me the most is that I spend most of my days wanting to die. Thinking of how I could end it all. Daydreaming about the perfect suicide. Wodering if anyone would miss me? When and where would I do it? How? The thing that puzzles me the most about depression is that I am not in a bad place in my life, why do I hate it so much. I am reading other people who are in horrible living situations or have lost everything and I can understand why they feel the way they do. But me, I have a perfect husband, been married 7 years, I have a beautiful 5 year old son, I own my own business, I own a 5 bedroom house that was built in 2005, I have wonderful friends. I am not trying to brag, I hate people who brag all the time, I just dont understand why I feel so alone and scared all the time. My life is just where I wanted it to be. Does anyone out there feel the same way?
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