i too really need hugs tonight though i dont think they will help much. i think that i am going to do something extremely stupid really soon. i was feeling great. been taking the stupid pills that the dumb doctors told me to take, for the most part. yesterday and today, however, have been pretty crappy. i have been thinking more and more about being dead again and cant stop. i know that it is only going to get more and frequent and im not gonna be able tothink about anything else. i also know that i used my last "please dont get mad at me" card with the folks in my life a few weeks back and that they are sick of me right now. so i dont want to bother them with anything that im thinking.
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