Why is it that I always seem to think I am loveable when I am not? Why is it I actually believe ANYTHING EVER gets better for me? Maybe for others, but it never has in 37 years except for brief spurts. But like a shooting star they die out and leave you dark cold and alone. So what is it I am really living for? why bother again? What is there really here for me? It is way too late in the game it seems for anything meaningful. Everytime I think I have even a remote chance the rug is pulled out from under me. It seems like I am powerless to do anything meaningful, at least anytime soon. I need relief now. I really need out now. That is where it stands.
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I have an addiction to this. There must be more people suffering from this ? Set up a group. Nobody else joined I just get worried about money in spending on silly stuff. My way of coping with this and other stresses is to steal.I know it's stupid. Help me.
For those of you that reached out to me today I want to say thank you. Your encouragement calmed my heart. I took a nap and I'm feeling a little bit better. I'm still struggling, but being able to let it out here is so comforting that someone is actually listening and cares! Thanks again!!