Ok...
Having an "ego" would be sort of if my feelings got hurt if no one answered this post. My "ego" would be hurt. Too bad.

Having self esteem would be to know enough to still love myself if no one answered this post, and be able to say "too bad" and figure the answer out for myself.

That's what I think the difference is.

And having self esteem would be mean that I can still be happy and sing anyway.

Tra la la, la la la, Tra la la, la la la.

G, B, A, G (from minuet in G) :)

Wait, that last part might have been ego.
Shoot.
runs off scratching her head.............

Good question. I am thinking about the difference right now.

Well, the fact that I spelled "no" wrong in my first post is just bad spelling.

Someone who has an "ego" is someone who is insecure, and scared of their insecurity.

Someone who has "self esteem" is someone who accepts themselves for who and what they are.

HUGE difference - I agree!!

I thought that having an ego meant that you were conceited.

I guess it depends on how you perceive "conceited" people whether you agree with my definition or not.

People with an ego *appear* (key word) conceited. Conceit defends insecure people from having to admit to themselves or others their own imperfections. Conceited people will not allow themselves to see their own flaws. They are afraid of being flawed. So they lie to themselves that they are everything they wish they could be. And they put on the facade for others - treating others as their inferiors, being arrogant / conceited.

The arrogant jock who can't talk about any damn thing but how many goals he scored in the last game, how many chicks he's boinked, or how many beers he can swig in half an hour has to talk about those things because they are the only things about him he feels are worth concentrating on. Perhaps he is not very intelligent - he doesn't want to accept that, and so he pretends it's irrelevant, and focuses instead on the things he is "awesome" at.

Sounds to me like you and I both understand the difference between ego and esteem quite well. We may have different understandings of what drives those behaviours/thought processes. Regardless - a conversation worth having.

Everyone has an ego. Some are just more overblown than others. A healthy ego is fine, but there is a fine line to keep track of.

self esteem IS ---not being distraught over little or no replies. Sometimes, people simply have nothing to contribute to any particular topic, on any particular day. It is not a personal affront.

really interesting SBoom. I'm going to have to reread your answer because it is fascinating.
You too Daisy.
(I was only using an example for ego vs self esteem she said sort of defensively)

It appears I need to work on this area.

Good point Daisy - everyone does have an "ego"
When someone talks about having an ego, though, I just assume they mean an overblown one so that's what I was talking about. Yes, a healthy ego is a good thing, an unhealthy one is a bad thing!

this is interersting....... Ego? not really sure..... Self esteem.... you can have good self esteem and good ego? It's a very interesting question..... you hear so and so 's ego is go big".. which ofcourse makes you think they are conceited...... I think you can have a healthy ego...... ego meaning self esteem?

Daisy's right.

I think, in regular usage, the word ego is generally understood to be your entire set of beliefs about yourself, the whole construct. (It's a little different in strict Freudian terms.) It's the cupboard where your self esteem goes....

Our Self-esteem is responsible for a lot of what we believe about ourselves, but it's mostly about respect, and valuing ourselves (or not). It's a part of our ego. Other things are past accomplishments, intelligence, vanity (or modesty), humility (or arrogance), concern for others (or lack of it), etc.

I think where people get confused is that they're both prone to fluctuate, and our moods can affect them both, big-time.

As an example: People with narcissistic personalities are said to have ginormous egos. They are never satisfied with anything, and nothing's ever good enough for them...they are generally very arrogant.

But in truth, their self-esteem might be scraping bottom. Or it might be way off the charts, completely "in love with themselves".

Self-esteem is much more private and harder to detect in a person unless it is suffering from a pathology. Ego is right out there for all to see, because it's more of a sum of our parts.