Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have been thinking over the past few days about just leaving town. Getting some money together, leaving it all.
I just feel so trapped, I went through a time last week when I wanted to die (still do sometimes) but I don't think I could get to the point of hurting myself.
Then I think that leaving would be just as bad as dying, because you are leaving all the stuff for others (family and friends) to deal with. Actually, it's kind of more selfish than dying, because you get out and they have to deal with it.
And where to go when I leave? It's not like the old west. With all the tv and stuff, a person probably couldn't leave if they wanted to.
sigh.....I will just keep on trying. It really does suck right now though.
I just feel so trapped, I went through a time last week when I wanted to die (still do sometimes) but I don't think I could get to the point of hurting myself.
Then I think that leaving would be just as bad as dying, because you are leaving all the stuff for others (family and friends) to deal with. Actually, it's kind of more selfish than dying, because you get out and they have to deal with it.
And where to go when I leave? It's not like the old west. With all the tv and stuff, a person probably couldn't leave if they wanted to.
sigh.....I will just keep on trying. It really does suck right now though.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Over time, I have learned that 'there' and 'here 'are usually the same place as we tend to take our mindsets along with us!
We can leave friends, family, jobs and all the other things that seem to be making our lives hell but the biggest problem is usualy us and what we're doing and we can never leave that, only work to change it.
Maybe all you need is some time and space away from whatever is tearing up your life right now? Get some persepctive and find new ways of dealing wiht stuff. If that would help you should try being honest about it and asking for help to get away for awhile and see what happens.
But I would carry the guilt of leaving all of that on my family.
Im just in a terrible place right now, and I want out.
If you don't have any real ties holding you where you are why not give that idea a go? Maybe not to Africa right off the bat but there are ways to serve here in this country going into poor areas and doing work to help improve lives and in some of those areas things are pretty back to basics. I think AMERICORP is a place to start if your serious about that idea.
I have a sister who has NOT had her own place in about a dozen years... she wanders all over the USA... hooks up with different carnivals when she needs to make some money... sometimes she just travels and camps in state parks or overnights at Walmarts. Right now, she lives in a van. She has a pre-paid cell phone, wireless internet, and her mail comes to my house.