Wake Up Crying
I am 29 and clinically depressed with panic attacks, anxiety, social phobia, and agoraphobia. I am so sad. I tried to fall asleep meditating last night but then I wake up with an overwhelming feeling of dread, hopelessness, and a knot in my stomach so tight I can't eat. I can't shake this feeling. I woke up crying. This is an everyday thing. I feel so weak and helpless. No one understands. I still live with my mom who says "all you know how to do is cry". I am trying so hard to find somewhere else to go, but no one can take me in. I am having horrible panic too. I just started a new therapist who is going to have me see a psychiatrist soon. I don't know when....and the county is paying for it because I don't have insurance. I feel weak, light headed, dizzy, scared....I don't know how to shake this awful feeling. I need out of this place and away from my mother and this negative environment so that I can heal myself. But I can't. I don't want to check myself into somewhere because medicine makes me panic and my fear is that I will be strapped down and injected with awful things. Any advice, prayer....etc...is greatly appreciated.
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