It's like a tautology. It's a 1:1 correlation.
You have to lose to be a victim, for starters. You have to not get what you want. And if you want to be the victim, and see yourself as an innocent soul led astray, 'more sinned against than sinning' guess what? You have to become a loser to do it.
Winners don't blame other people. Winners don't dwell on how much it sucks to be them. They're too busy winning.
And that's a personal choice.
If you want to win, you have to own every failure. You have to take every situation where things went wrong for you and say 'what should I have done?' You can't go back in time, you can't change the outcome: but you can take the lesson on board, and use it for the future. You have to own the experience and suck it dry for educational material.
My childhood was rife with psychological torture, mental illness, incest, and just... guns being pointed at me, parents strangling each other. That sort of fun stuff. I also didn't have enough food to eat, and I didn't have enough clothes to wear. Beaten up on the way home from school, forced to wear the wrong coloured uniform. I had a f**king wonderful childhood.
But didn't we all?
Everyone had it tough one way or another. But we can't spend our lives blaming other people for our own personal acts. We might blame them for why we feel shit, but we can't blame them for when we do shit. Because what we do is 100% down to us.
Every single step you take is your own step. Every single thought you have is your own thought. Every single thing you say is your own speech. Nothing belongs to anyone but you. Every single act or inaction, every single thought, every single thing that emanates from your personal existence is something you 100% own.
You can't blame someone else for any single behaviour you do. Not drinking, not cutting, not taking pills. Not 'attempting' suicide, not 'lashing out'. Not pinching the children, not nothing.
Don't get me wrong. I don't care what you do. But own it. It's yours, so own it.
I am agoraphobic by nature....I prefer to not go out. Which is a great skill to have in this situation.But this is starting to overwhelm me. Neither hubby nor I are sick, nor have we traveled. But we are trying to stay home out of respect and consideration. There is no where to go anyway most things are closed. ...
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