As most of you know, after feeling good for about 2 months, I made a decision to slowly come of my meds and I did so, have not had any medication since the end of November. I am finding myself having a few downs every few days. I am fine now, but this morning I woke up crying. For the newbies who dont know me, I have had a bad week, my ex has started playing silly buggers again and has started paying 50% of the mortgage of his own bat, direct to the mortgage company (he never paid 50% while he was still here!). He is trying to get more from the sale of the house. Also because I lost my job after I had my breakdown (due to my ex) I have only been able to find a job as an Assistant Accountant rather than the Company Accountant, although this is a really large company. Yesterday in work, I was asked to make tea and coffee for the staff in the Management meeting. I felt SO degraded, this time last year, I would have been in that meeting and whilst I made it, I couldnt wait to get home to have a good cry! My life has changed SO much this last year and all for the worst. I am slowly picking myself back up again, and trying to find the confidence I used to have, emotionally and professionally. Im worried that my depression is coming back again, I am really fighting it hard but sometimes I still feel hopeless and scared. Should I start my meds again because of a few bad days or wait and see if this passes. Your views would be greatly appreciated. xx
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