I was swallowing handfuls and handfuls of multiple mind altering pills a day. I was smoking almost 2 packs a day and drinking wine daily to get out of pain. I found out I was pregnant and ended up terminating. I couldn't bear the thought of a disabled or deformed child because of my sickness. But now I can't bear the thought that I ended my baby's life. I will go to hell. I thought I was doing the right thing. Now I cry everyday and beg God for mercy. The pain is beyond words. I miss my child.
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