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trying to deal with my rape

deleted_user
deleted_user
The police have having me contact my rapist by email and even though i'm scared to death of the guy I did and got him to admit to having sex with me. I got a victims advocate to help me deal with police, this is taking a toll on me, I'm scared of my own shadow. I had a male physical therapy assistant yesterday and I was so scared. Then there was my social worker trying to force me to see a male dr as my personal physician and I have been totally against it. she has no right to pick my dr. I finally got enough courage to cancel with him and make an appointment with a female outside of town. She will be ticked, but she can talk to my therapist. I realise I can't avoid men forever, but emotionally I am not ready for a lot of male caregivers. I talked to the physical therapist in charge and requested females only. I am doing my best to deal with what happened in a healthy way and I need to take care of myself before I can handle that stuff.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't blame you for being scared.Do what makes you feel safest x
deleted_user
deleted_user
What you're feeling is very understandable. I'm sorry you went through this horrible experience, but you showed a wonderful amount of courage with that e-mail contact. Remain strong and be well.
deleted_user
deleted_user
*hugs* You're doing just fine. There is no reason why you need to see male drs or therapists etc. Just take it slowly, one baby step at a time. Focus on getting yourself to a happier, safer place. Love yourself. It sounds like you have a good handle on what you have to do!
Testycatlady
Testycatlady
Take things one step at a time. Maybe one day you will feel ok around male care givers. Remember, not all men are like the sicko who hurt you. You come to the rite place for help. We all care for you here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do what makes you feel comfortable..yo ucan get though this...no one that has not been where you are can understand what you are going through...but I can tell you that there are people that really care about you and what you deal with...dont loose hope and dont loose yourself in this because that will allow that bastard to win....fight back...let him and the rest know that you will NOT be defeated...be encouraged... YOU can and WILL win ..in fact if you think about it you have already taken steps toward the victory line..
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you feel more comfortable seeing female doctors, that is understandable. I hope the police get that man locked up forever. And I hope things will look up for you in the future.
deleted_user
deleted_user
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deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been raped and it has to be one of the worst things anyone can go through. I understand how hard it is to deal with any male right now-years later I still get nervous around certain men but most of the time I am OK.

Keep your head up sweetie and I am so proud of you for helping the police out! I know you are doing a very tough thing right now and I applaud you for it. I never went to the police and was to ashamed-as a result it has haunted me for years.

Sending you hugs and positive thoughts for a better tomorrow.

If you ever want to talk or need to vent feel free to send me a message anytime.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you sound very strong and in command of what you need to do for YOU....don't let anyone bully you. You have been thru a horrific ordeal and are dealing with it's aftermath which can be jsut as painful if not more so. YOU know what's right for you ...follow your gut and take care of you...I applaud you for standing up for yourself..peace
deleted_user
deleted_user
i have been there. take care of you. you are doing the right thing and in time things will feel better. keep fighting for you and remember it is true, baby steps get you there too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
With your level of fear, I think it is really important to reach out a counsellor. The fear can worsen over time and the action of one person can become a prison for you. Don't let him do that to you.

Most cities have resources for women who have been sexually assaulted. it is almost impossible to be in the world without having contact with men.

Learning self-defense might also boost your confidence.
deleted_user
deleted_user
it sounds like you are being assertive and taking care of yourself, I hope it doesn't exhaust you, it would be nice if people understood better

If ya ever need to talk, I'm here!
deleted_user
deleted_user
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