The police have having me contact my rapist by email and even though i'm scared to death of the guy I did and got him to admit to having sex with me. I got a victims advocate to help me deal with police, this is taking a toll on me, I'm scared of my own shadow. I had a male physical therapy assistant yesterday and I was so scared. Then there was my social worker trying to force me to see a male dr as my personal physician and I have been totally against it. she has no right to pick my dr. I finally got enough courage to cancel with him and make an appointment with a female outside of town. She will be ticked, but she can talk to my therapist. I realise I can't avoid men forever, but emotionally I am not ready for a lot of male caregivers. I talked to the physical therapist in charge and requested females only. I am doing my best to deal with what happened in a healthy way and I need to take care of myself before I can handle that stuff.
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