My depression is caused from a lot of past and present issues. Rape, abuse, lots of illnesses that I have now. As a kid right up until I moved to england at the age of 18 i always got abused and told that it was my fault. That everything that wasnt perfect was my fault. And now it seems to be effecting my husband, and he doesnt understand. He wont even talk to me right now because he is mad at me for cutting my arms yesterday. But I was having flashbacks again and i needed something to distract me, so i used the pain to do that. And now I feel i need to hurt myself again to punish myself for upsetting him, i just dont know what to do. Im trying to cope but its hard.
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