It's hard for me to talk to others about my depression and what I'm going through. The last time I tried was when I was 27 and I was told that I needed to quit feeling sorry for myself. Of course I did not tell them about how I have grown up in a volatile household. My dad has always been full of anger and rage, and as kids he took it out on us. I don't like to talk about it. I am 41 years old and still living at home. It sounds so bizarre. Mom doesn't want me to move out. I am on disability due to depression and an anxiety disorder. I am going to apply for an apartment that is based on your income. Even if I get it it will be a year before I can get one. Please don't tell me I'm feeling sorry for myself. I feel like I'm going insane. I jump at every loud noise and when dad starts his crap I just feel so small and helpless. I need help but don't know who to talk to. My whole family is screwed up. I'm living with them because they need someone to pay the six hundred plus dollars a month on their trailer, plus of course the land is in my name and they're behind on land taxes. I'm to the point where I will live under a bridge just to get away from it all. I am not actively suicidal but I will admit to sometimes catching myself thinking that death is the only way. who do I talk to? i honestly cant take anymore.
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