So for some time now, I have come to terms with the fact that I am dealing with depression. It has been a hard road. It started with the hardest heartbreak I have ever had to deal with and spiraled from there. At first, I dealt with the initial emotions that come with heartbreak; sadness, anger, regret, etc. I cried a lot. I barely ate. I cut myself off from the world. Then, subconsciously, I developed a shopping addiction which I guess was my brain's way of trying to cope. I put myself in a hole and am now suffering the consequences (but I'm managing it). I eventually got past the shopping and didn't pick up any other addictions (Thank God!). I do occasionally drink, but it's socially and definitely controlled. As I've gone through the motions, I have become very detached from emotions and have struggled with how I feel. I'm constantly tormented with triggers of my pain. Though overall, through it all, I have managed to function. I feel like a robot but I get to work and handle my business. I was slacking in a lot of areas in my life but I'm beginning to get back on task little by little. Two steps forward, one step back. I still struggle with my heartbreak every day. It's been 2 years. But I'm trying to push past it and work towards getting back to my life and living. The one thing that I am having the hardest time shaking is this feeling of fatigue. I have been to the doctor and got checked for all kinds of things that could possibly be the cause and nothing. So I believe it's another way that this depression is playing itself out in my body. I started taking B complex vitamins again in hopes that it would help. I also read that coffee can help. I'm not a big coffee drinker but I drink I regular cup a day or every other day. I've been working on a steady sleep schedule as well. But I don't know what else to do to shake this. It's terrible. I literally have no energy or motivation and lack focus. Does anyone have any recommendations?
okay this is my third time trying to type this entry. I;m sorry if there are any typos or errors. Things with me neighbor have calmed down and I;m friends with her again. I honestly think she is keeping me around just so she can use me as a baby sitter and a helper here and there. But I dont know for sure. She has a hearing tomorrow regarding her application for disability. I have...