Im sorry I cant fake this happy shit no more!!!!!!!!!!! who the fuck am I kidding? This life sucks so bad. all I feel is depression, sadness, self digust. I had the most miserable fucking childhood and it RUINED my brain or any chance at ever being close to normal. I read all this shit u people write and I want to feel it to. It sounds so logical,,,pray, be kind, find god, dont allow the sadness. And like a fool I think ya they r all right. Then I go about my day and my anger overrides my ass, I wanna hurt everyone I see in my path. My son told me I looked tired cuz I have no makeup on which proves that without makeup im so fucking ugly I cant leave the house. I am so fuckin miserably not happy then I BEAT myself cuz WHY THE HELL CANT I do what all of u do and just get happy?!~ cuz Im a fuck up. I came home and there was shit And piss around from that fucking dog! I kicked her ass literally and now my girls think Im insane and all I can do is cry my fucking eyes out, so they left qwuick with their dad. Cuz im a fucking suck ass mom. 2 beautiful girls think im fucking mental and I AM> And when they grow up FUCKED up with this stupid fucking depression I can feel responsible!!!! My fucking boyfriend just says, LOOK AT U, U NEED HELP, U BETTER talk 2 someone. Supportive mother fucker........I wish I didnt have kids that Im ruining because some damned perverts and shitty mother ruined me. I really have done good mothering and they need to run to dads tonight cuz im a fucking freak..........I so give up people. This IS LIFE SUFFER IN HATRED AND INSANITY UNTIL I DIE. I cant stand myself or this shitty stupid life
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...