Im sorry I cant fake this happy shit no more!!!!!!!!!!! who the fuck am I kidding? This life sucks so bad. all I feel is depression, sadness, self digust. I had the most miserable fucking childhood and it RUINED my brain or any chance at ever being close to normal. I read all this shit u people write and I want to feel it to. It sounds so logical,,,pray, be kind, find god, dont allow the sadness. And like a fool I think ya they r all right. Then I go about my day and my anger overrides my ass, I wanna hurt everyone I see in my path. My son told me I looked tired cuz I have no makeup on which proves that without makeup im so fucking ugly I cant leave the house. I am so fuckin miserably not happy then I BEAT myself cuz WHY THE HELL CANT I do what all of u do and just get happy?!~ cuz Im a fuck up. I came home and there was shit And piss around from that fucking dog! I kicked her ass literally and now my girls think Im insane and all I can do is cry my fucking eyes out, so they left qwuick with their dad. Cuz im a fucking suck ass mom. 2 beautiful girls think im fucking mental and I AM> And when they grow up FUCKED up with this stupid fucking depression I can feel responsible!!!! My fucking boyfriend just says, LOOK AT U, U NEED HELP, U BETTER talk 2 someone. Supportive mother fucker........I wish I didnt have kids that Im ruining because some damned perverts and shitty mother ruined me. I really have done good mothering and they need to run to dads tonight cuz im a fucking freak..........I so give up people. This IS LIFE SUFFER IN HATRED AND INSANITY UNTIL I DIE. I cant stand myself or this shitty stupid life
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