When I was younger (starting about 12 and going to 17) I had a huge problem with depression and cutting myself. When I met my husband (huge Optimist) I started finally coming out of the dark but lately I just can\'t get positive. I feel like everything is closing in around me and NO ONE understands. I was sitting here at work just now and my eyes just started welling up. I feel unaccepted by everyone and worst of all by myself. It\'s getting harder to just get up and get dressed to go to work in the morning. I feel like there is just something completely missing. I love my family so much but I feel like I keep getting the short end of the deal...with EVERYTHING. I hate my job because I want to be able to go back and finish school and start a career. I just can\'t even look at myself in the mirror sometimes. I feel like the world is against me. Why is it so hard for me just to be happy. It seems as soon as things start going good something has to happen to set me back even further than where I began. I have started withdrawling myself from everything. I just am filled with this pain all the time. I am constantly exhausted by life. Its like God has it out for me. I see the people around me and how happy and carefree they are, its hard.
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