i've been having a horrible time lately. i just go on tired and lifeless. i've gone through the day movement by movement. for some reason lately i can't stop thinking about him. he consumes my every though. i decided i needed air today and walked to the river by my house. i said with my music for a half hour. then i just got up and walked.. i walked to the next town over. i don't even know if i was thinking about anything or where i was going. My feet took me to his house. once i was there i awakened from my thoughtless stage. i bebated on whether or not to knock. i did it!.. i knocked on his door asked his sister if he was there and he came. this surprised me. i asked if we could talk. he told me to come in. we went to his room. i told him how i didnt know what i was doing there and he said it was ok.. we talked about whats been going on lately. and then we watched a movie. he drove me home a little later. he apologized for everything (check my journal). he gave me a hug and said come by sometimes. this lifted my spirit so much. i felt almost alive for a while!!
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