I grabbed him by his face while we were fighting and said "would you just fucking listen to me?" It was as if I had completely lost control. I scared him. I scared myself. I had never done that before. Now I know...I scared him, I hurt him by going to another guy's house afterwards to talk about it, and now...now he's dating again and wants to cut off contact. I don't know if this is due to depression over losing him and the fear of losing him for good. I don't know if I'm just naturally psychotic like that that I can lose control in such a way. Why do we continue to hurt ourselves like this? we make ourselves like this and let ourselves do this. I feel like everything I do or say hurts someone in some way, makes them sad, angry, frustrated, or gives them use to hurt me and hate me. Do you ever feel that way?
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