I am so low. I have never been this low for so long before. I've always been able to get myself out of it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I hate it. I don't really want to die. But I keep catching myself thinking about falling asleep and never waking up and not in a bad way. Just never wake up and be in this pain anymore. I'm thinking that the Zoloft is not going to work for me this time. Which I find incredibally odd since it was working when I stopped taking it almost 2 months ago. Monday will be 4 weeks since I started back on them and I cannot say that I've noticed any improvement. If I didn't have my children I really would want to die. I could never want to leave them though. I want them to have happy lives. Free of depression and worry. Losing a mother would not help give them that. I pray and I pray and I pray more. Please lord help me out of this hole.
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